Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
Korenfaye 2
im vegetarian but im no where near that bad. i cook my fiance meat it dont bother me. unless im eating it x
M3gzilla 5
Im one too, and I think she is an idiot
badam_fml 6
What an idiot - like most vegetarians unfortunately.
TheAngryKitten 0
Tell her she can't put her vegetables in the fridge because it will contaminate your meat.
eimajthezombie 0
I find meat as advertising as your average Meathead would find feces. I wouldn't want it near my food either. Also, she was there first.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Oh? How do you know? How do you know they didn't move in at the same time? If the OP is paying half the rent, then it doesn't matter "who was there first." Paying half the rent means that you own half of the space for the duration of the lease, which means half of the fridge. Get over yourself.
exist2expire 0
That's what she said!!
Fishfanatic 7
@205 - a vegetarian diet IS unnatural. Human beings evolved to eat meat. Proven by archeological finds the world over. If we as a species could not digest meat (and it is digestibale fresh and raw btw ) we simply would not be able to at all. We originally would have eaten it raw, and we still evolved further without too much harm. Evidently someone discovered that it tasted better when left in or near a fire or a while , thus we now cook it. Frankly I wonder what on earth the worlds vegetarians would do in the event of some worldwide disaster, and trade, production and import of tofu, quorn and other vegetraian and vegan products stopped ( this is not actually as improbable as you may think ) I'd really love to know what people with such unnatural diets would actually think they could survive on if they had to grow their own vegetables and eat nothing but those. The levels of malnutrition would go up for a good while that's for certain. Do you know what happens to people who live off mainly grains and vegetables when a year of bad harvests hits? FAMINE. Imagine of the world was stupid enough to be converted to vegetarianism or worse.. veganism ( and believe me there is a large proportion of those who follow such diets who want this to happen ) . Famine is what would eventually happen. Not to mention that in order to produce enough grain and veg to feed the world, pretty much every forest would have to be cut down for farmland. Grazed land grows back. Overworked land does not.
downtime 13
This is just full of stupidity. Unnatural is not the same as unsustainable. By the way, the amount of land used for grazing would be enough land to cycle through with vegetation to feed the world. The land is not used in a way that maximises output. Nothing you say holds any merit because we all live in a modern world. Many things we do every single day are realistically unnatural, eating a vegetarian diet isn't. We evolved to eat meat - this does not mean we have to. The ability to digest something does not therefore make it a requirement. We evolved to break down alcohol in large quantities too, are you suggesting everyone needs to get drunk every weekend because we can?
kingnothing607 3
Im sorry but 316 does have a very valid point to a degree. First I must say, not all vegetarians are pushy, as one of my close friends is one and has 100% respect for people that eat meat, don't push your lifestyle on me and I wont push mine on you...That is the way to be, first and foremost. But humans BY NATURE are omnivores, we eat meat and vegetation. Yes, we CAN choose to live otherwise, because of the times. But does anyone expect a lion to give up meat and start grazing? No. That is how they are designed by nature. So 316 does make a valid point with that part of his argument. If someone decides to become a vegetarian, by all means good luck and have fun. But objectively, logically, realistically, every / any one that is a vegetarian or vegan should understand...We are by nature omnivores, they do not expect a lion to change their diet and they should not expect people to, at all, and they should not even try and argue that it is better because it is not. It is an alternative way to be that goes against our nature as humans that they choose on their own, because it is possible with the times we live. One can fight the poor conditions that livestock face (which are horrible) without giving up meat. All vegetarians need to understand, respect, and accept that.
ilovejay1314 7
I have never read such retarded arguments in my life. You're even stupider than her roommate. -_-
mrbaker88 0
F that b*tch
delormanator 0
Hmm she's YOUR roommate ur not hers so u have power over her! :)
THeroinCZ 10
Vegetarians are not people...they just look alike.