Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
peonmvc 6
**** that shit.
bre_zip_it_up13 11
then tell her to find a new place to put her food up or move out the space you two are sharing you have as much right as her to put your food in the fridge. and if the meat is covered then her food can't get contaminated if she's stupid enough to mixed the food up.
AzKoldAzICE 3
That's what she said!
Brak_Spaceman 19
MEAT IS MURDER. DELICIOUS MURDER.
Rick_E_Fresh 0
vegans are the biggest assholes you'll meet. the make you feel like shit everytime you try to enjoy meat
hewro_failure 11
Time to start a war because it's just as much your fridge as it is hers
jessherself13 21
If you get a mini fridge you could effectively cohabit happily, you know. Just ask her if she'll pay for it or split the cost since she's being unreasonable about fridge usage.
Brak_Spaceman 19
smack her in the face with your meat.
deathrowdiesel 2
Put the veggi fridge in the garden where it belongs
djsammyc 19
tell her to suck it up, its your fridge too