Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house, I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied, "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML
Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kitten1800 18
You're a good guy OP, I'm sure she'll thank you when she wakes up. Good things come to those who wait ;)
XxXBadAshXxX 27
You did a good job! Whenever she comes out of it I'm sure there are plenty of things in store for you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
kotake 7
and why wasn't that cute? because you didn't get to do the horizontal tango after? that's not being cute, that's being horny :P
Enslaved 38
Ummm girls are also horny and like sex too. Stop trying to make the guy think he did anything wrong. He could have done nothing and still wanted sex just because it's their anniversary. Btw there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex if it's mutually accepted.
nolifeatall 6
because men think that if they do something nice then they deserve sex. so they were saying he was only trying to get sex out of it instead of just being cute about it.
summer135790 15
Sorry op, at least you tried, it's the thought that counts (:
EmpireCityRay 13
His girlfriend will remember your post when she dies one day off his awful cooking. @OP Stick to cooking Chef-Boy-ar-Dee lol
sydstoomuch 19
The Itis!!!
ldkindasucks 6
How is this an FML? You treated your girlfriend, and she loved it. Is it FYL because she didn't clean after you treated her? Or because she didn't have sex with you?
lennon_ 16
Aw your intentions we're good. I'm sure she'll thankyou in a great way!
swedeNix 13
Sounds as if u were expecting her to do the dishes:)
soulreaper12296 28
At least she knows you truly care for her. In my opinion that's all that matters.
jeanyrios 10
Food comas are temporary
catmint 13
Would you really have expected her to do the dishes on her anniversary dinner and live to tell about it? Brownie points dude. You earned em.
Scarylizard1798 23
U treated her well...good job bro XD