Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house, I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied, "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML
Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML
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Top comments
kitten1800 18
You're a good guy OP, I'm sure she'll thank you when she wakes up. Good things come to those who wait ;)
XxXBadAshXxX 27
You did a good job! Whenever she comes out of it I'm sure there are plenty of things in store for you.
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Comments (117)
nolifeatall 6
so, what did you expect? she doesn't owe you anything, you went out of your way to make her dinner and be generous. I'd you're upset about the dishes, well you made the mess. if you're upset that she didn't do anything else then you are scum
laden_swallow09 35
And you wonder why your own life sucks so hard, 59? It's that attitude, right there.
Mrtigerblue 14
#59 she did ditch him for a nap though. like that shit isn't cool or even offer to help....
AloysiusWeasley 15
I bet she'll be extra grateful when she wakes up and sees the dishes are done! :)
whatthefhumanity 7
If your idea of a romantic meal would've been making her do the dishes when it was your idea and your treat for her, shame on you. Otherwise, you did good. If she didn't enjoy it she wouldn't be in a food coma.
elcee1987 18
Yeah I don't see how this is an Fml. What's the problem? Do the dishes!
amkaye1017 3
She shouldn't have to do the dishes anyway.
vanaathiel 13
My boyfriend is a great cook so his surprises for me often involve huge meals. He gets offended if I don't eat the food (which I don't have a problem with because it's amazing!) but then he doesn't understand that I'm not up for much of anything after a massive meal like that!
nialls_girl 13
Hey take it as a compliment, op. At least she loves your cooking. Wait til she wakes up! ;)
InSultan 14
tap
quarterbird 18
Please, tell me that you're a lesbian. No man should ever try to be "cute".
GlitterScribbles 9
Well that's just sexist.
KatyLarae 13
I'm sure when she wakes up you will have her full attention, you are very thoughtful OP