Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML
Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, twelve days after stomach surgery, I birthed a left behind, forgotten blood-stained stinky surgical swab from my vagina. I have no idea why it was there in the first place. I feel violated. FML
Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML
Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML
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Top comments
Lexxxiii 23
A ******
RichardPencil 32
I know, right!?!? When I did the same exercise, I found some change, the remote and the keys to a car I had to give away because I couldn't find the keys!
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Comments (7)
electraliv 13
YDI. basic personal hygiene - clean every crevice
Nikki 17
What part of your body does clean itself?
Lexxxiii 23
A ******
Nikki 17
You don’t ever wash your ******? Not with soap but just water?
Jon Tessler 14
I am pretty sure Lexxxiii is referring to the fact that a ****** does "clean itself" via vaginal discharge. I am sure she washes the outer labia etc when she showers. using soap or other items(douche) on the "inside" of a ****** can cause the natural PH levels to change which can lead to infections and other problems.
TrisaLink 5
no you wash the outside. but the inside of the ****** cleans itself. helpful bacteria.
cacheson 42
Ears.
Nikki 17
Ever had your ear syringed? I have to do it to patients all the time, ear cleaning is definitely necessary
RichardPencil 32
I know, right!?!? When I did the same exercise, I found some change, the remote and the keys to a car I had to give away because I couldn't find the keys!
Jon Tessler 14
I'm surprised you didn't find a carton of parliament cigarettes and a colecovision game set like Peter Griffin did.
Gina Marie Lombardi 15
Ok this is the reason when Covid started they had to have commercials telling people to wash their hands. 🤢
JackWood 21
Nothing like a little body awareness. It's so far down there to your navel I wonder if it get's grosser as you go south.
BurnInDemonFire 39
How did it not itch? Or get infected?