Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and for the past week, my apartment has had a terrible smell, and I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After tearing the place apart, I discovered the culprit: an old banana peel in my purse. I’d been carrying it around with me everywhere, including to work, and on a date. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML
Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
Why would you throw a banana peel on the ground? Don't you watch cartoons?
Moniquepeeters 0
hahahaha! That man is not the smartest :D
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Comments (120)
AssDan 0
Bergaflickle!
Cinn_fml 23
I'm in two minds on this one. One, because you are right, OP, the banana peel is biodegradable, and it was a field. Chances are, there's already degrading things in there. Two, it is still litter and technically therefore should be disposed of responsibly, say in a compost bin.
Zebidee 9
Full marks to the guy in the other car. It'll break down eventually, but in the meantime it's still garbage, and you're still a litterbug.
rndg 0
"Full marks"? You can't even take off a few for not knowing a word and claiming it was made up?
Zebidee 9
Yeah, OK, good point. The bananarang guy probably was a bit of a thicko.
MAGNAVOX 0
I'm going to send my dog to crap on your lawn and have him tell touches fine because it's biodegradable.
MAGNAVOX 0
*you it's I hate the iPhone
misstiffmcdoodle 0
it makes a good compost...its not hurting anything...
SoldieroftheLORD 0
that sucks!
JillianlikesVogu 0
YDI for being English.
Cinn_fml 23
Actually, it says UK. Therefore the OP could be Scottish, Welsh or from Northern Ireland... So maybe not. :P
JillianlikesVogu 0
True, true. On the other hand, what happened sounds very English. My dads English, and that is completely something he would do.
Cinn_fml 23
I know, I was just being pedantic about your trolling. :P Tbf, I'm English as well, and I've thrown the odd apple core into a hedge. Maybe we just have bad habits?
Zebidee 9
I wouldn't call chip butties a bad habit, just an unhealthy one. ;P
Cinn_fml 23
Healthy? What is this concept of which you speak? :P
mitchem 3
I really hate stupid-ass comments like that...them being English has NOTHING to do with the point in the story.
Cinn_fml 23
It's called trolling, some people do it as a joke, others do it because they think it's cool (when it isn't). I was assuming that JillianlikesVogu was joking.
Zebidee 9
Oh, and also - the post is from the UK, but that doesn't mean the OP is. My posts would show up as being from Germany, but I'm certainly not German.
FYLDeep 26
O'DOYLE RULES!
Dman1760 0
you shouldn't of been the dumb ass that threw it out the window
fmlisforlols 0
*have been, retard.
Dman1760 0
what the **** are you the grammar police
Dman1760 0
wtf are you the grammar police
BethiiGeex 0
wow lmfao, some people are so stupid you should take him to court ;) if you was a guy you should of punched him.
FMLrunning 0
*were
BethiiGeex 0
"were, was" can be used in this sentence..
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Actually, I believe neither one is correct. Whether OP is a male or a female, [s]he was presumably the same sex when this happened. It ought to be "If you are a guy, you should have punched him." The correct usage of was/were in this manner varies by location. AFAIK, in American English, "you was" shouldn't ever be used, so FYLrunning was semi-correct, according to the rules in his region. Corrections and/or clarifications welcomed. :]
WallyTheWombat 0
Owned.
BethiiGeex 0
lmfao. Owned? We speak different in england, so don't try to act as if I'm thick. -_-
Cinn_fml 23
Actually, BethiiGeex, it should be; 'if you were a guy you should have punched him.' And before you start, I'm from England too.
Zebidee 9
*differently *England
Trollz4daLULZ 2
omgs lulz madd pwnage
GuitarNukka520 5
but "you was" just sounds soo hood xD
BethiiGeex 0
lmfao, Sinse when is this site used for correcting spelling? i couldn't care less that you "owned" me..
Cinn_fml 23
I think you mean 'since'. And I don't care about owning you, but I do think you should get your facts right before you claim them as facts. There's also a difference between how you would talk and how you would write it. Also, correct spelling does help you look more intelligent, but then again, this is the internet, a lot of it does appear to be used as a stupidity sink.
BethiiGeex 0
lmfao I was only commenting on fml till people started commenting telling me how to spell which you just did.
Cinn_fml 23
I know. But if you look, I didn't comment until after you tried to justify it by incorrectly stating that that particular rule of grammar was different in England. I took objection to you getting that fact wrong. Which is what I meant in my last comment.