Today, I hate what my beloved Renaissance Faires have become. Hardly anyone dresses in period-accurate garb anymore. Everything is all dumb mushrooms, slutty “fairies”, and pirates. None of which existed in the time period we’re supposed to be in. Nothing authentic at all! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was all set to attend my first renaissance faire ever. I took forever customizing the perfect costume and I couldn’t wait. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissed that it was too revealing, so he left me standing at the front gate, refused to give me my ticket, and went in without me. FML
Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML
Today, I worked all year hand making a costume, just to get kicked out of the Renaissance Faire in an hour. The people next to me got so drunk, they started puking, and just the sight of it makes me puke too. Security wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them I hadn’t had a single drink. FML
Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML
Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML
Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML
Today, my daughter wants to forego college to embrace the whole “tradwife” bullshit. She doesn’t seem to understand that the videos she loves so much are as fake as anything else on the internet. These are people cosplaying as “traditional” while making millions off gullible idiots online. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML
Today, rather than age gracefully my parents have decided they’re going to be the witch and wizard of our neighbourhood, meaning they grow herbs, redecorated the house atrociously, swapped their clothes for dresses and robes, and smoke questionable tobacco in wooden pipes. God they’re so embarrassing. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as Prince. As I walked into the party, I realized that I was the only one who hadn't received the memo that the costume part of the party had been cancelled. I spent the evening awkwardly mingling with a group of confused strangers while dressed in purple satin. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Mushrooms, pirates and "Fairies" DID exist during the renaissance. Pirates as we know them started around 1650. Fairies have been in humans' imagination since the 1200's. Mushrooms did not just appear in 1800.
idragosani 17
I'd ditch the renfest scene and get involved with the Society for Creative Anachronism or similar. Once you attend a big war event like Pennsic, you'll never look back
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
Mushrooms, pirates and "Fairies" DID exist during the renaissance. Pirates as we know them started around 1650. Fairies have been in humans' imagination since the 1200's. Mushrooms did not just appear in 1800.
eellik 12
But slutty fairies and human sized walking mushrooms did not exist, and pirates would not walk around in public. And the renaissance era ended ca. 1620.
Morten Bork 6
horny people, and serious reenactment, doesn't mix well.
idragosani 17
I'd ditch the renfest scene and get involved with the Society for Creative Anachronism or similar. Once you attend a big war event like Pennsic, you'll never look back