Today, the vet told me that my cat is too fat to be able to wipe her own ass. I had to go Walmart to purchase pet wipes to clean her butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Well you should probably control what your cat eats then. By the sounds of it, you should have been a long time ago.
f_alarmclock 8
Put the cat on a diet or if it's from a health issue, get the right treatment. Wiping its butt isn't much different to cleaning a litter box, you're still dealing with its waste. I feel sorry for your cat. Such little organs aren't meant to deal with flab.
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Comments (17)
f_alarmclock 8
Put the cat on a diet or if it's from a health issue, get the right treatment. Wiping its butt isn't much different to cleaning a litter box, you're still dealing with its waste. I feel sorry for your cat. Such little organs aren't meant to deal with flab.
WCARlover 35
Well you should probably control what your cat eats then. By the sounds of it, you should have been a long time ago.
PaulieXP 16
Looks like we need a catsofwalmart site now
399 41
Poor kitty :(
jcash52426 5
Buy that $200 cat treadmill and start your new career as a weight loss pet trainer!
TabooSushi 24
FYL if kitty is fat from a thyroid issue that you had no control over. If she's fat because you overfeed her, then YDI for letting your cat get so fat. Put her on a diet. Natural Balance sells a fat kitty formula (seriously, it's called Fat Cat or something like that) that, while somewhat pricey, does actually work provided you follow a feeding schedule and proper amounts of food. It got my dad's 16 lb chunker down to a more reasonable 10 lbs (she's a big cat in general, so 10 lbs is actually quite normal).
crazyoliversmum 6
Hyperthyroidism (most common thyroid condition in cats) actually causes weight loss, not gain. If OP's cat has hypothyroidism, then that cat needs to go in the Guiness Book of Records.
crudeandrudeguy 29
That cat has life all figured out. A personal ass wiper, sweet deal. Lol
loucypher 2
I didn't even know cats wiped their arse, sounds like a gimmick to sell stuff the vulnerable.
Talis99 26
I hope you're joking, though.
onceuponatime456 16
Seriously?? They use their tongue. Now, how do you feel about all those cat kisses you get?
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
First world cat problems.
AntiSocialKitten 21
We had to put my cat on a diet because she couldn't clean herself either. Now every month she gets a bath and I have to shave her ass.