Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
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Top comments
maverick21703 0
Its a 5 year old. You can drive and stay up past 10. you win.
HaveYouMetTed_fml 0
f**** him ! at least you baked ;)
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Comments (96)
suntherian 4
Even making them from scratch isn't all that difficult. I bake regularly and hate using premade mixes- it's just more fun to bake from scratch. Betty Crocker has a recipe for Cream Cheese Filled Brownies- absolutely fantastic. If you want to make your boss eat their words, take them a pan of THOSE and frost them with the recipe (from the same Betty Crocker "big red book") for Chocolate Buttercream Frosting. I promise it's just not that difficult if you follow the recipe, it's so forgiving. I've made them tons of times.
jerry10394 0
37 is a total win !!!!
The_Great_One 0
In Soviet Russia brownies bake you
KaneStatic 0
it's only because you didn't add the special ingredient
Thedrugslikeme2 0
Next time put a good amount of laxitives in his. He won't be able to say they suck if he's taking a 12 hour shit now will he?
thisismeFMLing 0
LOL ^^ i was gonna say that until i saw that you already said that. OP can also take the brownies and throw them in the boss's face
Mervin22 6
let's look at the bigger picture. who let's their 5-year old bake?
The1AndAnonymous 2
maybe his 5 year old is a baking prodigy?
silvervolt7 0
that's what she said :P
glendahoee 1
wow your just a total failure(:
_RobotInDisguise 0
All these people saying to look at the box - ever thought OP made them from scratch? Personally to me the idea of making brownies from a mix seems a little weird - homemade tastes so much better!