Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML
Today, my wife reported our neighbor for leaving her son home alone while she works during the day. Her son is 13 years-old. I am so completely embarrassed and my wife keeps justifying what she did. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Whipped 43
In a world of people who are now overly paranoid about every little thing, I can understand how the wrong assumption was made. It's unfortunate that it reflected negatively upon yourself but I imagine this has been corrected by now and hopefully everyone will move on and mind their own business. :)
TheNewGuy03 29
Whoever called the fuzz on you is mind-bogglingly dunderheaded. People are too paranoid nowadays.
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Comments (70)
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
You should have just pulled a Regina George OP, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" Lol
Weisguy43 5
Haha, my mom is a teacher at my high school and people have brought that up multiple times. You'd think they'd notice after id been going to that school every morning since I was 4 (I walked to my elementary and middle schools every morning as they were within a mile)