Anonymous
United States
Relationship goals
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
lizann
Scottsdale, United States
Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Anonymous
Party animal
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
juggalo2
Troy, United States
Dude, gross!
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Anonymous
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
kimmybr
United States
Still warm
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Carpet cleaner
Canada
Wait for the hangover
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
hnickell93
Visalia, United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Top comments
tbear4prez 14
I think you actually have to try to miss when pooping...
Patriots21 14
Tell him to place his fartbox over the water, not the toilet seat.
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Comments (80)
Just1Day 12
Seems like a great time for him to be cleaning th r toilet.
corleon198425 22
are you in Iraq?
samlovesham1234 9
How the hell do you miss when you drop a deuce?!
ironmany_fml 23
yes mother in law, i'd like to return this husband - it is broken. It does not even shit properly!
jerry91 15
did you marry a retard?
subscript 15
Retard is mean you should have said "did you marry Peter Griffin"
jerry91 15
lol you are right it was mean yours is beter haha
subscript 15
Tell him to clean it himself
fmljosh1015 20
Wtf
Fmlsea 28
argh seriously thats digusting , how ******* lazy is he ? id kick his ass out side ,until he suddenly remembers "how to use the toilet properly" !
momac86 17
Make him go outside like a dog until he's house trained
bubblefarts 2
this is why people get divorced