Anonymous
United States
Relationship goals
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
lizann
Scottsdale, United States
Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Anonymous
Party animal
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
juggalo2
Troy, United States
Dude, gross!
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Anonymous
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
kimmybr
United States
Still warm
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Carpet cleaner
Canada
Wait for the hangover
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
hnickell93
Visalia, United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Top comments
tbear4prez 14
I think you actually have to try to miss when pooping...
Patriots21 14
Tell him to place his fartbox over the water, not the toilet seat.
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Comments (80)
Kurby14 21
get him some adult diapers and tell him if he acts like a potty training toddler, then he will look like one
Mobetta_2300 22
Doing what exactly?
ironmany_fml 23
belle dancing probably
kmaheynoway 25
I laughed so hard at this I crapped. Sadly, I missed the toilet too.
Captain_Derpz 8
Your profile picture says it all.
RickySleeves 20
Explosive diarrhea is a bitch.
janfleury 19
Time for him to learn to clean his missing problem. Take pics and send them to his mom if he won't clean up after hitting the floor.
laden_swallow09 35
^^ THIS. This is the best payback anyone could possibly think of until he – literally – cleans up his act.
bdsmslave 18
Time to put his nose in it. If he wants to act like a dog, he should expect to be treated likewise.
MattStro 23
How..how does this happen?
brvnnx 18
But how did he miss the toilet?
worldclassrager 41
Is there a chance he could clean it instead of you? I mean it's his mess he should take responsibility
Chiharo 15
Exactly what #27 said. why are you cleaning up his crap?
Exaspera 55
Get an outhouse built in the backyard. Lock all of the bathrooms indoors and keep the key. OR, send him to a farm to live out the rest of his days.