Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML
Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that my wife doesn't want kids because she wants to relive her teenage era when she obviously wasn't ready for it. However, I've always been told the reason was me being impulsive, unstable, and prone to outbursts when something frustrates me. Also, that's why she quit her job. FML
Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Stop that. If the woman doesn't want kids, respect that. We have enough kids growing up in households where their parents resent them. Stop pressuring women to have kids.
spinspinsugar 12
I don't want kids. I know people who have kids and they never get any privacy in the bathroom. yeah, no thanks I'm good lol
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Comments (15)
Warp1978 15
Get a lock for the toilet and just ignore them that's why parenting is a team sport
xxlk4xx 6
as a mom of 4 I understand your wife not wanting to lose her privacy, tho I never let mine in with me lol. I've already given up a lot of myself (which I'm fine with) but going to the bathroom alone is not one of them I'm willing to part with lol
DoctorPALO 14
If that's how she feels, and you DO want kids, find another gf. Don't think you'll eventually change her mind; that's just going to lead to even bigger issues.
cacheson 42
Step 1: Sound proof the bathroom. Step 2: Make sure the bathroom has a good lock on the door. Step 3: Have that kids conversation again.