Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML
Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML
Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that my wife doesn't want kids because she wants to relive her teenage era when she obviously wasn't ready for it. However, I've always been told the reason was me being impulsive, unstable, and prone to outbursts when something frustrates me. Also, that's why she quit her job. FML
Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
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Top comments
core01 30
Stop that. If the woman doesn't want kids, respect that. We have enough kids growing up in households where their parents resent them. Stop pressuring women to have kids.
spinspinsugar 12
I don't want kids. I know people who have kids and they never get any privacy in the bathroom. yeah, no thanks I'm good lol
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Comments (15)
Regis Bent 12
This is just my opinion and you could do with it whatever you want, but I think if you really want kids, you should find some one else to marry who doesn't mind a lack of privacy sometimes.
Rusty Armstrong 13
listen to your wife, kids can suck. Mine are trying to talk to me right now while I'm on the toilet.
EmmaMK 35
She will get over it! It’s good she can talk to you about it. You can have kids and still use the loo alone.
core01 30
Stop that. If the woman doesn't want kids, respect that. We have enough kids growing up in households where their parents resent them. Stop pressuring women to have kids.
OrySoma 11
women who don't want a kids probrably shouldn't get married to someone who does want kids also feel like this whole no kids thing should have come up before marriage me and my fiancé talk about it all the time but maybe that's because we aren't retarded no one is forcing anyone to have a kid and if they didn't want the kid and kept it that's thier own fault and they should only resent themselves if Thats the case they never wanted kids you're over here making it sound like they are being chained up held down and inseminated against thier own will and then being chained up in a basment to prevent them from having an abortion which I garentee no one is forcing any women to have children they don't want so why don't you go force yourself to shut up now p.s 😒
RichardPencil 32
Bullshit. That's not the only reason. She just doesn't want her cooter to get stretched out of shape.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
That's a pretty reasonable dealbreaker though.
spinspinsugar 12
I don't want kids. I know people who have kids and they never get any privacy in the bathroom. yeah, no thanks I'm good lol
rainbowdonnareed 18
I feel her pain. I come from a large family and had kids and grandchildren early. I haven't gone to the bathroom alone since 1981
Hangryko 32
Personally, I couldn't handle that loss of privacy either. It indicates a loss of my entire sense of self to motherhood. No thanks.
bound101 7
This answer sums up so much 💖
alex_jaguara 33
There are too many people in the world anyway.
Dylan Borg 12
As a person with IBS, I don't blame her. It's one of the few tines I din't give a shit about anyone 😂 But I feel like there might be compromises with such a deal breaker..