Today, I got home to find my house trashed, my TV, PlayStation, and laptop smashed, all my clothes burning in the backyard, and all my food gone. Turns out my girlfriend did this after going through my phone and finding a contact named "Kristi". Kristi is my sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML
Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML
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Top comments
ChromoTec 24
Call the police. That would be a crime and she could be facing some time in prison.
Madrias 36
Time to go to the police and press charges, get a restraining order while you're there. People like her need to learn that they don't own their partners, and to ask about things. And also to keep their noses out of other people's business. This could have all been avoided if she'd simply asked, "Who is Kristi?" Not demanding, either, just ask. Unfortunately, this is what happens when there's no consequences at a young age. People grow up to act all sorts of stupid, and were never taught to talk about their problems instead. So instead of talking, they destroy stuff, only to find out that the Real World has consequences for that. Regardless, go call the police. Press charges. Possibly find a lawyer if you have money and want to make sure it's a lesson she'll never forget.
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Comments (53)
fabs1171 23
You’ve dodged that bullet OP!!
RichardPencil 32
I think he got hit pretty badly by that bullet.
realjojo 11
But to avoid following salvos, one restraining order please...
fabs1171 23
Yay!!! I’ve had a reply from the famous Richard Pencil. You’re FML royalty. I found your previous comment funny but I think others might not. Oh to have your wit and charm. I picture you in my head as a cross between Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. Or maybe Matt Damon and Rob Lowe. I’ve just assumed you identified as male but you may identify as gender neutral. I’ll just have to scrub the fantasy of you from my head
RichardPencil 32
I am male. You can always send me a PM to ask me anything you like. I won't be sending you a pic anytime soon because I like your mental images of me, hahahaha! Thank you for your kind words.
manofmerr 27
Wait, your not a pencil? What other lies have you told!?
realjojo 11
Actually, it sounds like mentally unstable...
Lobby_Bee 18
Finding out about Kristie and destroying your place was to actually cover up the fact she was really hungry and came to steal food. Noticed only the food went missing?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Let me fix this sentence for you: "Turns out my *now ex-girlfriend* did this".
bigdaddyeric 37
I would seriously call the Police and have them investigate and press charges, what a psycho!
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
You spelled ex wrong...
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean EX-girlfriend! Because you need to make this woman your wife. You’re not going to easily find another woman who cares for you so passionately!
moronica 11
Send her packing, dude
dexter420 21
That chick dont play station
AdorableDoxie 12
"And on the next episode of Judge Judy!"