Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML
Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
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Top comments
panda1o 0
well which one were you?
xlorawrz 9
That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.
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Comments (86)
sydie5 12
That's when you pretend to be the Rejection Hotline.
byteolu 0
Hey
Calivale 7
So which one are you? or are you both?
manbearpig7173 0
I've only read this comment a thousand times...
SPC117 5
Soo...uhhh...which one?
sydie5 12
14 - Win.
omgcookeys 15
Douchebags..
wriptidez 0
ignore them
beccerz 6
harsh
Ann23 7
Maybe the bar isn't such a good idea.. try somewhere else next time !
byteolu 0
The bar is perfect, drunk people are so easy
courtneykinz97 5
I'd be like yo hot the wrong number cause I'm neither.
dollars2doughnut 0
But... You're not old enough to go into a bar!
loveexgirl 15
She didn't say that she went into the bar, she was just stating what she would say.
dollars2doughnut 0
Really??!
perdix 31
"Both, I just ate the ugly one!" Go with ugly and hope the guy is a fan of Jimmy Soul who said: If you want to be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So from my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you. No wiser words have been spoken.
littlestmOnster_fml 1
You must be ugly!!!
demoon_fml 7
Does it matter if he is ugly? Who needs to look good when they are the king of FML?
perdix 31
littlestMonster, Yes, yes I am . . . but I have a great personality.
littlestmOnster_fml 1
That's hot.