Love Dating Red flag

Red flag

me. - - United States

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

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jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

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Feels bad man

toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

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sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

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number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

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Branded

Anonymous - 20/10/2021 07:00 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

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Single4Life - 05/07/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

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theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

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apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

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Deluxe Memory Man

Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

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panda1o 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:59

well which one were you?

xlorawrz 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:00

That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.

sydie5 12

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:17

14 - Not Win..? o___O (response to the thumbs down)

butter5646_fml 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:33

If the fat one is pretty, she's winning!

Amrel 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:53

Why would they call if your both fat and ugly? Maybe ones a chubby chaser

Cenobyte 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:35

Don't you just love drunk people?

BighornB 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:06

Teaches ya for being a bar ***** ha ha ha!

klong91 7

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:07

Well what did you expect? Did you really think you were gonna meet decent guys at a bar?

BighornB 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:16

Tell him fat girls need love too

njgohard 16

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:04

Congratulations, ma'am, you just discovered the wingman.

cartmenlibby 1

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:23

Favorite by far.

aliwright 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:37

Omg wow I'm so srry :( I'm considered the ugly cuz of my hair color :(

chippa 24

Thursday 11 August 2011 2:56

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

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Today, I spent seven dollars to find out I’m allergic to kiwi. FML

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Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

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Today, I found out my sister-in-law cheated on her husband. I also found out my uncle cheated on my aunt with my sister-in-law. FML

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Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML

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Today, it was so windy that when a man walking in front of me sneezed, all of his saliva blew onto me. FML

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