Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Slawter16 24
Just remember that 50 Shades of Grey is originally a Twilight fanfiction. You're probably better off without her.
Enslaved 38
Well, tell her you're even since she's not able to please you like Sasha Grey. :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
Kenjikai 5
tell her to go become a **** star, then she can be the ***** she's always wanted to be and more.
alkaid 14
They're three books ,not three copies..nevertheless you're better off without her
Bludmagnus 13
No girl who compares a real man to a fictional character in a **** fanfic of an equally insipid piece of tripe if original material is worth even dignifying her immature behavior this way.
whyamievenhere 11
Don't read them. 90% of what he does to her is rape or assault in some form, and it's literally a Twilight fanfic. Abort mission and find a woman who is SANE.
JesseAttack 21
Bah, those books were dumb. They sound like any other Harlequin type book. Rich guy, lots of shagging.
darkfireflame 15
You are definitely better off without her. 50 Shades is a terrible book and that relationship is completely unhealthy.
kozinc 5
At least you got free books out of it, even if you're never gonna read them.
InsanityxthexGit 12
50 Shades of Grey is an insult to those in the BDSM community. Anastasia is raped by her "lover" and basically appears to have something akin to Stockholm syndrome. Evidence for this can be found when the safe word is said and IGNORED. Plus, it was just terribly written. There's bad erotica, and then there's that.
fantasyworld 39
50 shades is becoming the new Twilight.
elmateo_fml 9
From what I heard, this book is poorly written, and an insult to the BDSM community, (not just from online but from a personal source.) She's dumb to compare you to a fictional character, you are you and nobody, find somebody that doesn't have unnecessarily high standards, and who will love you for you. Good luck OP