Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Slawter16 24
Just remember that 50 Shades of Grey is originally a Twilight fanfiction. You're probably better off without her.
Enslaved 38
Well, tell her you're even since she's not able to please you like Sasha Grey. :P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Let her go. The day she runs into a real Dom she'll find out real quick if she's down for that cause it's not like the books.
bobak_can_ani 7
It could be worse! Be happy she didn't want you to be Edward Cullen.
kayleighcupcake 14
those books are a load of shite!
missyamaha 11
books like these are ruining so many relationships! this is why I have never read that series. how can your partner live up to a fictional character? I think you dodged a bullet on this one, considering why she left, I'd have been helping her pack her bags. what a *****!
rhyzzthabeast 4
Weis
leeyaro 13
LOL
militarybrat 21
Yet another person who doesn't know the difference between fact and fiction. You are better off without her. FYL, but good for you.
caffeineneko45 8
You're probably better off without her if she fantasizes about being raped on the hood of a fancy sportscar. In all seriousness, though, op, fyl. And I hope you find someone who isn't so obsessed with a fictional character.
truepanda 2
I think u should at least try to read it to get better bcuz fanfic or not it DOES teach u about female pleasure. BUT! Since ur girl friend is acting like a unrealistic bitch that only cares about how good u r at sex then ur better off without her.
RogueQuinn13 3
Oh. This is great. Seriously. Much better off without her. Be thankful. Be very, very thankful this happened to you. Now, find someone who reads grammatically correct, and thoughtful books.