Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
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Top comments
junaho 0
That's hilarious. Allergic to your own sweat. Sometimes the pros just outweigh the cons, I would've just gone for that hot steamy sauna bath either way.
z_x_c_v_b_n_m 0
how can you be allergic to your own body fluids?
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Comments (145)
MoMoJones 0
Ha fyl dude
paperfox_fml 0
So what? Gym teachers don't actually do anything to get sweaty, they just stand on the edge of the field, shout a lot, and occasionally blow a whistle. Also, I have no sympathy for the sauna/steam room thing. YDI for blowing perfectly good money on such ******* pointless things.
chinaroses 0
I feel like I've read this FML before... Though I don't doubt that this one is true also. So, FYL. Seriously.
Paige_Nicole10 0
um first this kind of allergy doesnt just happen in one spot on your body, it would happen all over. second of all this is a repeat fml just cleaverly reworded, by the way got called out on bullshit too.
Pokochin 0
no, my friend on the team get it on his back and his back only he wear under armor to take care of it.
harveywallbanger 0
Antihistamine?
waterynuggets 0
Fake. Not to mention, same FML's that are already on here, just change the subject (allergic to blood/sweat/etc.)
wingedspiritus 0
Yourface is fake.
waterynuggets 0
#60's comment sums up the overall intelligence of people posting and moderating FML's now.
wingedspiritus 0
Whatever floats your boat. Feel free to hide behind your puny excuse.
inconvienentgurl 0
yeah this fml exists get a new idea...something funny pls! :) hahaha if by some chance this really does happen 2 u then fyl but its stupid to fake that wen there really are ppl who have that :(
waterynuggets 0
#72 Not sure what I said was an excuse, let alone what I'm trying to 'excuse' myself from. It's okay though, sweetie, there are many people out there like you with hope because they upped their dosage. Unless, of course, you mean your "Yourface is fake." comment, which was inane and ******* stupid. But the hell with it, continue to be yourself! Just for the lulz.
vivaciousnat 0
FYL for being a gym teacher
playfuldesk 0
You can't be allergic to sweat u retards. It's salt and water you need salt to live. Read a damn book. Idiots
FMLreactor 0
inquire?
RNA 0
it's either eczema, or fungal infection if it is really reddish. mark my words.