Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
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Top comments
junaho 0
That's hilarious. Allergic to your own sweat. Sometimes the pros just outweigh the cons, I would've just gone for that hot steamy sauna bath either way.
z_x_c_v_b_n_m 0
how can you be allergic to your own body fluids?
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Comments (145)
C_Renae_F 0
Woooooo!!!! Go rugby!!!!!!!! :D
BeccaBek 0
My face used to burn when I would sweat. It doesn't do it too often now. If you just noticed it it could be because you've introduced something new into your diet that your body doesn't agree with. I'd suggest you look into that and do some experimenting...cause it would suck to live like that for the rest of your life if you can prevent it.
justmyluck1212 0
WTF How the hell did you not realize that earlier? YDI
dimkims 0
i agree, have you never sweated before? unless you somehow developed an allergy?
gkings18 1
happens all the time, i was allergic to cats as a kid... not anymore
XcuzimsotiredX 25
i just recently developed an allergy to my cats after a year of having them. you can develop allergies.
summer99 0
um how did you not realize this BEFORE you became a coach and gym teacher?
TheTragicReturn 0
FYL, but at the same time, if you can afford a sauna and steam room for your house, you should have plenty of extra cash.
Walt_1990 3
SOmething you're eating could be causing that?
PutDownTheGun 0
Can't you take some sort of medicine for that? I'm allergic to grass but I get a shot so I can still coach baseball.
Lonely_Lez 0
It could also be a heat rash. They tend to only appear in places where you sweat.
seroose 0
okie I doubt your smarter than a doctor so stfu moron..
the_pkmn_goddess 0
poor little inbred