Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
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Top comments
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
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Comments (69)
bluevayero 42
no good advice to give here,but have you tried those trees that ppl hang on their car mirrors?
disney_blonde 16
Get better deodorant. I work in Florida(USA) and in the summer it's ridiculously hot and humid. Try some over the counter clinical strength. I promise even the right non-clincal strength stuff works for our fuzzy theme park friends in those hot summer months. It helps to apply it the night before and reapply in the morning.
1337chick 4
It seems like your body is trying to tell you something. Change your diet, at least for the time being. Decrease intake of meat, processed fats and oils, and sugar, and increase intake of vegetables, fruit, and water. Your body will thank you, and your odor will be less offensive.
poccocurantes 7
Causes for BO: Milk products, sugar, beans, eggs, onions and garlic. Fixes: leafy greens, fruit and tea. Some people just have BO but changing your diet will at least stop you from smelling like a toilet. If it is really bad look into supplements like chlorophyll. For your breath you can chew parsley. Ancient roman cure for bad breath.
pil_84 9
I used to have the same problem then tried anti persperant now I smell amazing
onorexveritas 24
that stinks
boobalicious99 6
HAHAHAHAHA sounds terrible. Sorry man.
Surge5560 20
I'm a mascot too and I have the same problem. Your not alone!
CharresBarkrey 16
Their not alone what?
doritowhore 9
You can buy clinical strength antiperspirants, give that a try. They just might help with your problem, OP. Good luck :)
BigL99 20
Perhaps using clinical deodorant and wearing a heat gear under armour will help you out.
tonijulie 20
Get mitchem deodorant!! It's in Safeway or coles!! It's really good :)
False_Stupidity 42
I second that, Mitchum works wonders even for those that sweat a lot and it has an unscented variety.