Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
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Top comments
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
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Comments (69)
cmac86 24
try mitchum. I had the same problem as you and a construction buddy of mine told me about it. they all use it, and it stays in for 48 hours.
AimeeOreo 5
I could tell you were Aussie just by your use of the word 'stifling', but yeah this heat is bad enough, couldn't imagine having to deal with it in a costume. **** your life indeed.
clevv 5
spray it after every shift with vanilla fridge spray to kill germs and leave it smelling nice, and make sure the suit actually gets a good wash every now and then! i'm also working as a mascot this summer :)
xRezSynn 15
At least it's not someone else's.
ThatAss 14
This is just not cool..... Horrid actually..... Have you tried the first step of a Showering.?
whY402Jay 12
Use different soap.
mtlfenix 7
Dude ... Deodorant is no replacement for showers ... Shower > Scrub arm pits thoroughly > Apply deodorant >REPEAT DAILY, not weekly or more likely bi-monthly if you can't stand your OWN odor...
ceo_boss 3
lol dont think he ever referred to not taking a shower and replacing it with deodorant.... Still trying to figure out why
TheMystery13 13
You can be the 8th dwarf - Stinky!
isabellegypsy 12
Certain dry deodorant will close the pores in your armpits to prevent sweating and stop the B.O. Issue :)