Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
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Top comments
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
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Comments (69)
Coop817 19
A day in the life of a mascot
GracesDelirium 9
That's unfortunate. I remember when I used to march that I'd have to wear several layers of different deodorant. Ridiculous, isn't it? XD
skoob1 12
Woot woot! Band geeks unite! I actually was in a pep ban today. Being in upstate New York on a frigid January afternoon, I wish I had more layers -_-
GracesDelirium 9
I'm in Texas, so I'm always hoping for a few less layers. XD
wombatred26 8
I'm female and I have to wear men's deodorant cause women's deo just deo-n't work for me . . . Maybe you need to try the other kind?
taniaaracely84 12
I used to have the same problem until I started using Dove deodorant. Ever since then I've been using Dove, plus they have different scents and smell really good. :)
skoob1 12
No way. I've been stuck at my aunts house more than a couple of times, where all there was, was "secret". Being that I either had the option of smelling like a rotting corpse, or "flowery springy not ballsack", I chose the latter, and I must say, women's deodorant is a lot stronger than men's. or at least the stuff I use(old spice).
peachesncreem 21
Better buy some new deodorant OP. Tomorrow is going to be another stinkin' hot day.
TeaPartyPoison 7
I just threw up in my mouth a little..
PenguinBitch 44
Ahh congratulations.
perdix 31
Maybe you should stuff your costume with those industrial-strength urinal cakes and liquid toilet deodorizers. Those work "so well" with Port-a-Potties!
nond2nv 4
Perdix, I haven't been on this site in over 2 years. I just came back randomly & noticed your comments everywhere. Why are you still on here all day, everyday, making over 16k comments. That is so sad. Don't you have people to talk to in real life?!
sophiekat 19
Maybe you should rethink your job...
ZackST 6
Restink*.
Kallian_fml 21
On the bright side, at least you're still able to get to work. My local train tracks have buckled in this ridiculous heat, causing me to almost die in an attempt to bike to work.
myklknife 6
Thai deodorant stones. They work.
slap_u_much 6
I have those but when I work in the sun, i would have to add my other deoderant for extra protection due to swear
perdix 31
You might want to get a job with some dignity. No chemical can overcome the Stench of Shame.
skoob1 12
Well, there is always lye >:-)
perdix 31
Yes, you can always lye to yourself. It's called denial.
skoob1 12
I was referring to sodium hydroxide...