Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML
Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML
Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
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Top comments
Isoldael 27
Don't breathe through your nose and you won't be able to smell it at least. As for the others, I hope the costume allows you to remain anonymous...
theycallmekitty 13
If he breaths through his mouth he might just start tasting it instead. I know from experience...
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Comments (69)
vbmg152 19
Try antiperspirants, they're different from deodorants!
yuggi1 11
Apply baking powder to your sweaty armpits. Just mix it with honey. and apply.
buckdharma 38
My mascot, Poe smells like a winner! Go Ravens!
perdix 31
Pretty impressive victory over the Patriots in Foxboro!
buckdharma 38
Yes I'm really looking forward to this year's Super ''Baugh.'' The older brother usually wins a good fight.
ViviMage 40
Try adding sodium bicarbonate baking soda to your bath and applying baking soda powder under your arms. Also, air out the suit!
xmaximusx 12
Come to canada we are freezing our asses off could use the extra layers
perdix 31
Nose clips!
Korosuhito 26
I feel for you OP, this heat is maddening. Ask your employer to dry clean your suit, invest in some clinical deodorant, and perhaps consider making some small changes in your diet. It'll be autumn before we know it :)
Xotoolyxo 16
Stick some air freshener's inside there
tararochelle 18
You need prescription grade antiperspirant! I use it once a week, blocks the sweating through that area, so no odor! I doubted it until I tried it!
Kalipczo 21
That's pretty nasty.. Maybe try switching to a Stronger brand and apply just before and after you get into your costume?