Today, I feel very lost. I have been in and out of psych wards so much. It's so bad, the ER nurse knows me as "the AI coder guy" and the people in the mental health wards know me by first name, and have a "welcome back" thing each time. It's so embarrassing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML
Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML
Today, I got out of a psych ward. I lied and said I was better, just so I could leave because it was that awful… but the truth is that I'm worse than when I went in. FML
Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML
Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know… every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML
Today, I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there. I then left, remembered why, walked back in, and immediately forgot again. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to undergo cognitive tests or something. FML
Today, in front of a group of family, friends, and acquaintances, a guy I hadn't talked to in about two years asked me how rehab was going. In the monstrous silence that followed, I had to awkwardly explain that I work at a nursing home that also functions as a rehabilitation center. FML
Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML
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Top comments
slapstick1982 22
listen. you matter. the quicker you realize this, the sooner they throw you a going away party
Chazzster 32
OP, you really, really need to see a psychologist or counselor on a regular basis and do your best to follow their advice. Waiting until you are suicidal is not the way to address your issues.
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Comments (3)
slapstick1982 22
listen. you matter. the quicker you realize this, the sooner they throw you a going away party
Chazzster 32
OP, you really, really need to see a psychologist or counselor on a regular basis and do your best to follow their advice. Waiting until you are suicidal is not the way to address your issues.
Suaria 38
Being sectioned into a psych ward does not necessarily mean someone is suicidal. They could be going through a psychotic episode and be very disorganized, delusional, etc to be sent to a psych hospital. It could also be from being suicidal or being a danger to another person. Based on the context of the FML we don't necessarily know if OP keeps coming back due to being suicidal
Suaria 38
I've worked in different psych wards for years now. Believe me, we see a lot of people come back. I do wish people the best when they leave and I do hope most do well. So hopefully the staff who work at the hospital/s you go to have a similar mindset