Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
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Top comments
the17doctor 12
well...is she cute?
Captain0bv10us 0
Hopefully you have another grandma...
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Comments (69)
teyyoshi 19
is there somebody telling me what does "out of will"mean?
Rainbow_dumpster 28
It means, OP is not gonna get anything "nice" from her ignorant granny.
hermitknut 22
"Out of the will" - He's no longer referred to in his grandmother's will, meaning he won't inherit anything when she dies.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Basically someone decided to not put someone on their death will (that list people make when they die to decide who keeps his/her/family's belonging's and fortune.). That means the person will not recieve what the dying person will leave at the time of death.
brianjman14 23
31, you're asain and major in physics, but you don't know what "out of the will" means?
SwaggerHaver 3
#31 nice mullet asshole
SwaggerHaver 3
*103
Ozone1232 5
Now...Snurkles McGree I give thee...a boot to the head.
ALLDAY88 8
She probably wasn't going to give you shit except for maybe a weird hoodie, that belonged to your grandpa, and Larry the cable guy DVDs.
blackvyper 8
Should have saved the questions until after she was pushing up daisies. On the bright side.. she'll need that nurses help to make it day to day. Simply poetic.
Beck2209 0
Who wants to be part of a racist's will anyway?
CTVrhythmguitari 8
I don't think being racist means you have shitty stuff not worth taking...
murdersquirrel 15
She's racist, but still OP's grandma. You can still love a racist family member, just not their misguided judgements and beliefs.
ICATiger 13
Tell her if she puts you back into the will you will listen to her nonsence stories works every time
Steppittee 7
That's horrible, about her being that way, n you being left out to dry...
muzy 23
Oh the irony...
HaleyXx_fml 11
Sounds like my grandmother. If you want to piss her off date that nurse :D. Racist people have no value to this world. They make it a worse place.
Monkeybuttcream 4
I hate racist people....and the Dutch.
HaleyXx_fml 11
What's wrong with Dutch people?
bitchwhore 20
*extreme facepalm*
Monkeybuttcream 4
I guess you were just a pup when Austin Powers came out :(
wonder19 9
Like most men ur sarcasm got ur self in the hot seat... Now u will have 2 suck it up and pucker up or live with ur g-mom thinking u r interested in her Nurse !!!!'
IrishSoulja 4
Please go back to school and learn how to write in English before ever commenting on here ever again
Petunia888 13
"Like most men"? More like "most people". Everyone, no matter the gender, says sarcastic things that they end up paying for.
docscientist 10
Sarcasm? It's like you just vomited words... Maybe drawing pictures would be an easier way for you to communicate.
wonder19 9
If I got any plainer I would have 2 draw u a picture.... u need to stay in school and learn how 2 write a sentence!!!!
brianjman14 23
Oh my God, you're so ******* dumb.
Jaxx66 21
Dumb and takes bad fuzzy pictures for their profile.... Not a good mixture.