Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
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Top comments
the17doctor 12
well...is she cute?
Captain0bv10us 0
Hopefully you have another grandma...
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Comments (69)
cobalttanker 14
Smoother her with a pillow!!!
DynamicDave 11
But what if she likes it rough instead? : P
Petunia888 13
...or not.
crazyarsedfly 14
Such a lovely old lady..
amanda_d95 9
There's two types of old ladies, the cookie making ones and the bitchy racist ones
asoptavlo14 6
I LOL'd at the hybrid comment. It's funny how we talk about old people as another race.
hobosapien081 10
you sure you would want her stuff...?
Mister22_fml 5
You might get her old Klan robe.
ninjaboy18 6
Sigh.. I hate racism.
CoolRainbowdash 15
Me too,because i am Mexican
mom2pen 4
Did you see or read " The Help "? Rent it for grandma and bring her a chocolate pie.
Miss_Attitude96 24
"Eat my sh*t."
tinkx22 6
Haha love that movie
Mr_Trollsome 1
Has she changed the will yet? I know a guy who can help you...
teyyoshi 19
why cant i see all ur comments???
THE_A_TEEN 28
Because you touch yourself at night...
memob123 0
I was going to make an Asian joke but never mind
ikickgingers 15
How come I can still see all the com.. Err Nevermind.
SwaggerHaver 3
Because some strategically placed floss in front of your eyes?
SwaggerHaver 3
I assume its because someone strategically placed floss in front of your eyes? :}
KnucklesDeep 5
Well, you're not getting anything out of her now, so my advice is to smother the bitch with a pillow.
ImInYourFACEbook 8
17 almost commented the exact same thing. They also got thumbed down for it, did you not learn anything from that?
Avalanches 9
Old people bum me out.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Forget her, OP. Her racist beliefs are more disgusting than the sewers of Manhattan. You're better off with someone who is not racist at all. ;)
murdersquirrel 15
Maybe OP can adopt a new grandma that isn't racist!