Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML
Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML
Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, out of pure desperation and loneliness, I went out with my ex-boyfriend. It ended with him hitting me and driving off with my car. He's in jail now. What was I thinking? FML
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Top comments
omgshaylaaa 0
ydi op!! that's pretty imature!
FYLDeep 26
That was a total dick move on your part.
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Comments (90)
joannamichelle15 0
haha wow how did you not notice him??
PamParanoia 0
...and how old are you exactly? I wouldn't even do that. -_______-
ideasrule 13
I wouldn't do that either, and I'm 13. First of all, that's extremely immature no matter what the situation is. Second, unless your ex committed the worst crime in the world and that's why you broke up with him, I don't see how he deserves it.
kristenp 0
just say penis
Peytonlikesme 0
Stupid!! U freakin moron!!
0opsie 6
If you were that classy and mature during your relationship, no wonder he broke up with you. Move on.
ibitehard 9
32, maybe you're agreeing that she should cover up because your jealous that she can show off without someone saying she's hideous like people say to you when you're not showing them your body.
Driveshaft 5
Jacktastic move jackass! ydi
Seethatguy 3
Maybe you shouldn't have shown everyone what a dick you really are.
myrrhdyrrh 3
damn calm down.. your the one with braces... and so what if we think she should cover up? all it does is make her look like a *****
emmanizzer 6
wow let's all just make this one innocent mistake into a a fight about who's ugly and who's a *****!!!!