Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
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Comments (163)
futboljem 1
wait why are you banned
hochrote 0
I was broken up with someone and yes, I did cry and took it badly, but I would never go and hurt him. That kinda ruins any chance of being friends and/or working things out in time. FYL.
chadderbox17 0
probably still for the best. had you broken up in private it could have been worse than just a ballpoint pen with no one to hear or see what was going on.
heimerdinger 0
202- stomach. not mouth.
yayo55 0
been there, done that it really sucks!!!
misscourtneyy 0
jerk.
jenjen0146 7
never a good idea to idea to upset/piss a girl off while in public lol
kylealanpalmer 0
and YOU got banned from the mall??
corrinaswan 0
Wow, why would you think that's a good idea. That's jacked up, being broken up with in front of tons of people. Thats embracing for her. Learn to be more sensitive and caring. I will admit your ex girl friend went a little far I could understand the crying though.
jlperry31 10
always the mans fault. wtf. she stabbed u. u should have pressed charges against her.z and u shouldn't have been banned. what the hell did u do wrong. nothing. breaking up with someone doesn't get u kicked out of mall.