Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
looks like it was a good thing you dumped her if she's that senssitive
1waytoolive 1
Yeah 24 somewhere private so she could of killed him and disposed of his body so much easier.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
Wintermut3 2
To everyone saying ydi, consider this: being in a public place might have saved his life. She stabbed him with a pen, what's to say she.wouldn't have gone to the kitchen for a knife if she could have? People that resort to violence so easily are unpredictable
AkiraChan 0
Karmas a bitch, douche
Herropreez17 0
Call the popo and get the bitch for assault.
needsagf14 12
you did?
daeemann 1
You did the right thing to break-up w/ her in public. She used a pen as a weapon and stabbed. Imagine how much worse it could have been in private, if she did that in public. This is not funny; it's really easy to kill someone w/ a pen. Call the police and press charges.
Bludmagnus 13
Speaking as someone who did this, what is wrong here is that HE is banned from the mall. That female should have been arrested, but then, this shows what is wrong when we forget that the chick was not the only disturbed one. If they will ban him, there is no telling what they will allow happen there in the mall.
EMOELMO9000 0
assholes banning you and all
TheChampagneBoi 5
good thing it wasnt a knife
mooseluver4life 5
She stabbed you and you got banned?! Lol shut up! That sucks man
DoNotEnter 5
Seriously, how insensitive of you. Dick. YDI