Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
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Top comments
MisterEx 28
The directions you gave him were too long. He wanted a shortcut. To between your legs.
Zarcissa 34
Yikes, it's always creepy when someone old enough to be your grandparent suggests things like this.
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Comments (75)
trojanman74 6
Did you check to see if he was a zombie. Walking dead is on tonight!!!
j4ckpf 12
It's just a prank, bro.
SecundusSecunda 27
Directions too hard to follow Dick stuck in park bench
SomewhatNuts 19
hahaha this had me giggling like a school girl. Thanks for the laugh...definitely needed that
TheNewGuy03 29
I'm suffering a minor myocardial infarction. Thanks, 18
ButtStallion2k16 10
You go, grandpa!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
That brain to mouth filter on these elderly really needs to get fixed.
The_ghetto_mango 25
Elderly people don't give a shit anymore. They're like "**** this shit. ******* people. ******* earth. Back in 1945, I could get a decent meal for less than 5 ******* bucks. Slow down, you ******* child!"
jellbell2012 16
At least take me to dinner first
w0nderwh4t 14
Are you like a hamburger or something?
jake2226969 4
did he take his teeth out give u a gummer ?
KickAss73 12
10 points for trying
westcody 8
Well, how was it? You did say yes right?