Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Today, I came home early to find my (now ex) girlfriend having a screaming argument with my son, because he caught her trying to burn pictures of my late wife. I'm back to being single, but at least I can be proud of my son for standing up to her (he's usually very timid). Can't believe I was dating that psycho. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
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Top comments
DelugeandDrought 7
This would be the best time to start the paperwork and file for a restraining order. If she's willing to break into your house there's no telling how much damage she might end up doing. Good on you guys getting her out! I hope you guys stay safe.
nodeathtoall 19
Bitch be crazy
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Comments (48)
MattNobles 7
Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned
stevenbro 6
I thumbed your comment down because it is so trite, but then I saw you wrote "furry." I guess maybe I misconstrued it?
SneakyDeath 15
I am guessing that haterade has been extended in protein products.
acmariner99 25
I don't know how things work in Kazakhstan, but in the USA we get a restraining order and a 12 gauge.
laniparis 13
I'd definitely look into a restraining order (or AVO, "Apprehended Violence Order") to keep you safe legally from her. Also, you didn't mention how she broke in but if she used an old key, I would recommend getting your locks changed. I hope everyone is okay now.
PapiiChuloo 4
What guns are for, then again, if the is that psycho then its probably a good thing you didnt have one.
ALonelyStranger 12
Now that's what I call true family bonding!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Let's hope she gets locked up soon.
Etweens96 25
Restraining orders aren't going to do jack. For your family's sake file charges on her and look to get her jail time. With how today's world is, people don't bother to file charges before it's too late so for your sake and everyone's press charges!!
heyLaddieHey 18
Honestly you guys should have let your dad handle it and locked yourselves in your rooms or something. She could have had a weapon or something else that could have really harmed you.
jairolover 25
should have waited for the police.
acmariner99 25
And if someone had been seriously hurt or killed while waiting? Then what?