Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
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Top comments
cherrybollosm04 0
YDI be more sanitary
shewasalmost18 0
uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?
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Comments (98)
shewasalmost18 0
uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?
Phillay632 0
**** yeah! Scrapbook it!
Shaylex 0
That's really gross. Who keeps a used condom in their shorts pocket? Yuck. YDI.
z0mb130v3rl0rd 0
LMFAO. Made my whole day XD
heygirlheyyyyy 0
that's the most disgusting thing i've ever heard... leaving gum in your pocket is one thing.... but a USED CONDOM?! Why in the hell would you keep that?
skitzymew 19
Sounds like he forgot it was there, rather than actually wanting to keep it. Who would want to do that?
ithoughtuwasdead 0
That's sick hahahaha
razzumfrazzum 0
While that does suck, I'd say your dad is pretty kool for not spazn on you. To everybody that doesn't get why he'd have a used condom in his pocket. Ever have sex in a car or any other place where a trash can or toilet is inaccessible? In that type of situation your only feasible option, other than littering, is to tie up the condom, stuff it back into its wrapper, and put it in your pocket to throw away when you find a trash can. The OP just forgot it was in his pocket.
skullbuster 0
Oh - now we're going to bash litterers now? Well la-dee-dah!
razzumfrazzum 0
lol I wasn't bashing litterers that was just the only other example I could think of at the moment :D
cyberotter 0
agreed op's dad ftw
girliestgirly 0
epic ahahahah
4ube_fml 6
I understand you can take your condom in your pocket because you can't throw it away, but to keep it untill you take your shorts off, put them to be washed, dryed and folded, that's too long. YDI
fml_account 0
why would you wanna keep it? naasty shiz prolly went through the whole laundry. ew.
Nightfallz 0
ydi for trying to hide the fact that you were having sex. who keeps used condoms anyways