Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
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Top comments
cherrybollosm04 0
YDI be more sanitary
shewasalmost18 0
uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?
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Comments (98)
clars_fml 0
well at least your dad seems pretty cool about it
Calaura9 0
YDI for having parents who care about you.
baller789 0
YDI for having parents that dont have downsyndrome
bexox 0
*Down's Syndrome
mobius8 0
It's Down Syndrome is you're using American English. I wouldn't get too hung up on it.
snackeyg 0
Why would you pocket it and not just throw it away right away?
baller789 0
your ugly and have no life*
MissRogue 0
Haha, my ex forgot it in his pocket once, luckily I remembered before he went back home. :P
saze_fml 0
YDI, but how cool is ur pops!?
darkmis1 18
For all the people saying the OP shouldn't be having sex if he's young enough for his mom to do his laundry: he could be around 18 and still living with his parents before he goes to college or somethng. That's old enough to have sex, but still be living at home.
visage 0
If you screwed at her house flush it... If it was at your's toss it on the neighbors yard! Or do what I did: say screw it and toss thwm in the trash for all to see. At least my parents knew I wasn't queer, I was gettin some & being smart about it!
tensor 0
yeah cos everybody knows queers NEVER use condoms .... WTF ?
zombie_pie 0
lolwut
whatastory 0
LMAO well clearly #70 is a virgin.
werewolf_13 0
u kno iif ii wnt a viirgin iid say sumthiin, BUT ii am so ii hav no clue wutz goiin on....lolz =P
StrawberryWaffle 0
Maybe you're a virgin because you type lyke diis...