Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cherrybollosm04 0
YDI be more sanitary
shewasalmost18 0
uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
wonderboyrex 0
this is a repost from page 40
EveryDayJackAss 0
teh shit man? dont use those dam fkin condoms! be like the cool kids and get AID's and all of that shit
tobylane 0
Almost sounds like his dad is saying I'm fine with you having sex, its good that you're using condoms, but don't put them back in the packet like they've not been used. I think the dad is meaning to make the son use the condoms he clearly has. 128 you moron.
tipple 0
Your Dad sounds cool - sounds like your Mom is pretty cool too. FYL that you forgot about the condom, but at least you remembered the part about using one :o)
blahblah18 0
i highly doubt ur old enough to be having sex if your mom still does your laundry...
popoman 0
You should have just finished on your mom's face.
copey 0
damn ass! I'm wondering what other disgusting things you keep in your pockets....
Raheemdplayer 7
I wuda chucked it down a drain somewhere, YDI for leaving it in your pocket ewwww
looking_glass 0
Haha, I love your dad!
darklove6792 0
dude....you throw away condoms....you dont put them in your pocket do you like to feel semen on your hands?