Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML
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Top comments
Mr_Satan 11
Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.
dancinggirl900 17
Insect got your tongue?
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Comments (114)
gabbi630 16
It could have been worse. You could have been the bug!
disney_blonde 16
This is why you wear a full face helmet. No bugs in your face.
dead_insects 18
good news: you got home safe from a party. bad news: your breakfast was a huge bug! goddamn, i coughed just reading that! i love the username! if it had been me, the username would have Been "crashed like a bitch and vomited for 10 minutes" of course, seeing what my username is now, the irony would be too delicious, unlike your winged snack ^_~
Nilorak 24
Well that's a bug!
s13495 19
funniest fml for a long time :D
minidrone_fml 11
That's how you identify a happy biker : the gnats on the teeth !
MysticMonkey 9
Was it tasty?
AzWolf 5
You're lucky it wasn't a bumble bee!!
DanqGirlxoxo 13
" Today, I woke up bright and early in a real good mood , going to get some breakfast. A ladybug flew by and caught my eye. Not paying attention , I ended up in some guys mouth and now my wing is stuck between his teeth. Ew is that bread? FML"
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
Cicada got your tounge?