Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML
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Top comments
Mr_Satan 11
Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.
dancinggirl900 17
Insect got your tongue?
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Comments (114)
MDNative 6
OP's wording in the last sentence is funny as hell
JohnnyBravo2 3
In sorry but what did that whole "I was feeling pretty good about myself" comment have to do with any part of this story??
zandalee 20
I think he was happy and shit... Maybe he had just got laid....
nplatinum 4
He was probably drunk or high. Do you not go to parties? DUH! Moron!
furbyface711 9
YDI for not wearing a helmet. A Motorcycle helmet covers your entire fact.
horneyhic 15
Uhh no that's called a full face helmet there are 3/4 helmets with no chin bar and 1/2 helmets with no chin bar or back of the head protection there also motorcycle helmets
IT_Nird95 9
Your wording of this FML is priceless. Sucks for you for eating the bastard but sucks for the bastard because it got eaten.
itsalanis 25
Prepare yourself when you go on Fear Factor. That's how I see it. :U
LyraAlluse 25
Don't worry, you just got some extra protein. RIP to the bug though. I heard he had a wife and 123 children at home. May they all find peace without daddy bug around.
Kimmy___888 8
If you aren't aware that that probably will happen if you yawn then you shouldn't be on a bike. Your fault, bro.
GryffinDarkBreed 3
Full enclosure helmets: not just for keeping wind off your face...
k34nu 7
Had that before. Had a daddy long legs fly straight into my eye.. Had to pull over when the ****** wouldn't get out from under my eye lid... D:
avapaige1234 19
Be thankful it's not a cockroach. They taste awful. Trust me, I know.