Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
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Top comments
bigbuttsowhat 0
kill the girlfriend
aback 5
Yeah, well if you're in the US, Father's Day is coming up. You can send him a condom.
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Comments (176)
BaldOuting 0
at least your dad visits... but that is very disturbing
GubuntoidOSX 0
Your father is not a father. I would recommend either ejecting him from your life, or having a serious talk with him about what he did, because it was ridiculous.
dancin303 0
#14 and the op prob thinks shes a **** because of other reasons too. maybe the way the girlfriend dresses makes her a ****. so dont judge to op, its the ops jobs to use adjetives to describe the characters in the fml to help us better understand op thats retarded tell your mom
cthulhu1138 1
This is the point where you should start asking yourself whether it's worth the time to maintain a relationship with your dad. At least talk to him about it. There's NO excuse for that kind of behavior.
too_much_fun 0
The first time I read this, I thought it said your girlfriend came over. THAT would be messed up.
Synnie 0
#23 is a retard. Sorry 'bout your father. But I really am a "I love mommy more!" person.
Phlecks 0
I don't understand how people can put YDI for something like this...
TheyCallMeStromz 0
Bro's before hoes, wow thats the basis of every relationship
zandar 0
as a divorced dad of three who lives in a different town than my kids, I think this is appalling. I always wish I could spend MORE time with them. Any father in this position should feel this way, otherwise they are assholes.
Phallus_fml 0
Mmmmmmm... sounds kinky!! (drool) Threesome?