Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML
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Top comments
bigbuttsowhat 0
kill the girlfriend
aback 5
Yeah, well if you're in the US, Father's Day is coming up. You can send him a condom.
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Comments (176)
FMLFAN1 0
Your dad sounds like a real winner!
SweetheartAngel 0
I'm with #43. That's so ****** up. You deserve better.
ohitsali 0
my dad does similar things. like bringing home chicks at 2am, blasting music - to drown out the sound, while not noticing that the music was the thing to wake me up in the first place - and going at it for about 2 hours. FYL, FML, and **** our dad's libidos.
propelks09 0
so...i don't understand.. your dad was in town for a day..does that mean he doesn't live there? and if he doesn't live in the same town as you, then you wouldn't be at his house? why would his girlfriend come to your house to have sex with your dad for 2.75 hours? this just doesn't make sense
coolcat624 0
9.
kdaddy 0
who are you to deny your dad some ass? without him you wouldn't be alive.
Karnezar 2
You have 365 days to have sex, when the guys daughter comes to visit, the days are reduced to 364. Only a **** would care about one day without sex.
tf90 0
What the **** is wrong with the people saying he (or she?) deserved it? Or that the dad was cool for having chosen sex over his kid? Obviously they don't get much time with their dad and the dad must've been there for the sole purpose of seeing his child. So it was just ****** up of him to go have sex with his girlfriend and not spend time with his neglected child. That's just being a shit-ass good-for-nothing parent. He could've waited 3 hours to **** the ****.
rukusrazor 0
2 hours 45 minutes.. pffft. Rookie.
Monstarred 7
Wow, that was extremely inconsiderate of him. I mean, you barely see the guy, and he finally see you, and ditches you for a little action with his crap ass girlfriend? Im sorry, FYL.