Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
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Top comments
PsychSwirl2012 1
What a Dick...
DocBastard 40
Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.
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Comments (228)
vcapelo 19
He really needs some confidence!
hahachun 4
Giggity giggity alright!
ScarlieC 25
Is my dick big? The only answer is off course! How would you feel if you asked him if you were tight enough and he'd answer 'Well, you're okay, enough, I guess...'?
dreamer9614 3
It's more like him saying that however tight she was, it was tight enough to satisfy him. Except it's sounds better talking about a dick than a vag.
kkjkidonthate 4
Of**. Not off.
mark5723 0
**** off ^
UsernameHere234 13
^ see that's proper usage of the word "off". Thank you for demonstrating
ScarlieC 25
Okay people, thank you for teaching me how to use the words 'of' and 'off' in the right sentence.
akallaan 7
Good response OP.
viomartyr 4
Yeah, he's clearly short on confidence (no pun intended). Personally, I'd rather be told that I have a beautiful penis than an enormous penis. Firstly, I know mine is not anything out of the ordinary size-wise and secondly, too big can be impractical as it can be painful for some girls. There you go, there's your TMI for tonight.
Dracoboxer357 36
18- On the contrary, your post is exactly the right amount of info: You admitted without shame (as there was none) that your penis wasn't ginormous and shown how comfortable you are with yourself about it. That alone makes a good example of confidence, something that I believe is much more attractive to your average woman than a big penis on an insecure man-child. Well done. :)
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
Your boyfriend has some issues. But I can see his point of you as well I guess...
MooseKnuckle5150 13
"point of view"
MissHayleyJames 7
Oh my gosh was that for real? I think I just died a little.
DrNuggetcase 3
What a baby, plus it's not the size that counts, it's how ya use it.
nsnforever 2
"It's not about the size of the boat. Rather, it's about the motion in the ocean."
SammyS2012 21
"It's not the length of the vector that counts, it's how you apply the force." :)
FiasCudi 0
will you be my derivative, so I can lie tangent to your curves?
jriley4u 17
You all must be guys. Because I can tell you, size does count. If he’s the size of a pinky finger I don’t care much motion is in his ocean, it ain’t happening.
hobojo69 23
He's dumb but your kind of dumb to because unfortunately that's what every guy wants to here and u should no that
TheSmoothDude 10
Learn how to spell before you call people you don't know dumb.
KiddNYC1O 22
Holy shit, you're dumb.
reebokkid123 14
Why would you put his business out there like that? I would keep them wondering...
KiddNYC1O 22
Read again =].
redmnky21 8
that was the wrong answer ur a terrible gf
DocBastard 40
It was exactly the right answer, and she's a good girlfriend for saying it. Is it better to lie? No.
The_Hitdude 12
^ It's probably better that you answered that question for her. She may have seen it as a trick question...