Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I'm on a certain diet. I had to have a green protein banana smoothie for breakfast. I shook it up, took a mouthful, and immediately started gagging. Apparently, the seal for the bottle had fallen in, and it got stuck in my throat. Luckily it was slimy and came out relatively easily. I paid $12 for that. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
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Top comments
sleepinginclass 8
How long could she have spent making a smoothie?
NerdyPanther09 6
If she had been quicker making the smoothie, the yogurt wouldn't have expired.
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Comments (76)
LexieWins 0
A for effort? No? Okay.
DKjazz 20
Dial M for Mango.
perdix 31
Or Murder, Mr. Hitchcock. Good evening.
TurtleSmile 14
You should politely ask her if she's forgotten about your allergy, and whether or not she has you should irrationally burst into a fit of rage.
brackaman 18
*Rationally. There, I fixed it. That seems like quite a rational reason to busy into a fit of rage.
MsMourningStar 22
Burst*
perdix 31
Find out if she just took out a large life insurance policy on you. This sounds like the old "poison mushrooms" joke.
erinchick1 7
Your mom is trying to either tell you something or just flat out trying to kill you!
icemand90 17
mom of the year
crazytwinsmom 25
Some people think food is still good for a couple of days after the date. I don't risk it. But a mom should know her kids' allergies. We don't always remember their dislikes but allergies are important.
guckylynn 19
Your mom seems so nice.
Calingaladha 21
Make her a smoothie to apologize. Make sure you use the same yogurt. Add ipecac syrup and wait for your sweet revenge.
X_Codes 11
When it comes to Yogurt, I can't imagine that "expired" really means that much. That said, using Mango in the smoothie was just stupid.
Calingaladha 21
Eh...it's dairy. That shit curdles and gets really gross.
Abby_jay 0
Ommmggg lol