Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML
Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML
Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, my legs were really sore from working out yesterday, so it hurt going down the stairs at work. To avoid the pain, l ignored how stupid I looked and limped down the staircase. When I finally got to the bottom, I hopped off the last step. And twisted my ankle. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML
Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Leenah_93 11
Did you get an "X-ray"?
magickitten 26
I'd rather injure myself than do calculus too....
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (89)
Leenah_93 11
Did you get an "X-ray"?
purpleturtle16 20
Just tell people you dislocated it while having sex! It's a white lie.. At least you'll have some fun!
goaliegirl39 10
They don't X-ray when you dislocate something. Just pop it back in and continue on your way. You will be in a pain for a bit but that's because you just dislocated something. I've dislocated my knee 8 times
teentee401 37
You must be fun at parties, 49.
Leenah_93 11
Not really. It depends on the type of the dislocation. Some will require an x-ray and some don't. Besides, some doctors will do it to make sure :)
Leenah_93 11
#49 For sensitive areas such as the spine they will do a CT scan or an MRI (CT to check for dislocation/fracture & MRI if damage to nearby tissues other than the bone is suspected), however, an x-ray is usually done before going to such extremes.
flamingarrow59 21
whoosh! thats the sound of the joke flying rught over your head #49
tantanpanda 26
I guess #49 can't "differentiate" between what's supposed to be a joke and what's serious :)
dashes 3
It sucks when you can't function :(
PhoenixMartinez 30
#49 when I took a first aid course a few years back, I was told that you shouldn't pop a dislocated joint back in (unless you're a doctor, obviously) because you could trap nerves or tendons or whatever and cause even more damage.
maloafi 8
f**k your life
RockUntilYouDie 18
You acctually dislocated your hip when you stood up ^^ But ouch must have been painful ..
Wutdafuqq 24
Welp, it's been said that Calculus is a painful thing to learn.
iwanttogotoparis 26
I dislocated my hip once while lying in bed...
symfora 17
I dislocated mine sitting on my couch.
freckleface221 19
I dislocated my knee making the bed, I feel your pain!
kewpiesuicide 29
Mine does it all the time, usually in the mornings. I honestly don't feel a thing until it pops back into place and I realize that it was out.
magickitten 26
I'd rather injure myself than do calculus too....
ELoni_fml 25
Now I'm wondering, what are the odds of that happening?
AninOnin 24
No kidding. No worries, OP. I once broke my ribs letting my cat indoors...
castleofg1ass 19
Maybe you can use this as an excuse not to do calculus
corporatescoundr 25
OP see if you can get a doctor's note excusing you from any math over the level of pre-calculus.
kyndalashworth11 9
"Calculus dislocates my hip so I can't come to class anymore"
Georgia0p 17
Better than the dog ate my homework excuse I guess ?
fifi125 21
My brother once dislocated his shoulder from sneezing... So don't worry OP!
Purexinsanity 46
I kinda want to know this story?
fifi125 21
He was literally lying in bed.... And sneezed.... And dislocated his shoulder. I had to pop it back in ?. (I've done it before)
emxy92 22
I cannot even imagine how painful a hip dislocation would be! I hope you have a speedy recovery!
jazzy_123 20
trust me, you don't want to know. I dislocated my knee a few years ago and was too scared to go the doctor. I did get it popped in by this massage therapist in the end because I couldn't walk, and if i tried, my whole side would crack from my knee, up to my waist. It took about 4 months for it to finally get better, and even now it hurts when it's winter time and I can't sit criss cross style anymore. So be careful because dislocating anything hurts!