Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, it turned out the twit I've been overcharging for drinks in my bar for wearing shades indoors is actually blind. FML
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
You sure attracted attention.
perdix 31
Which is why you don't. . . *lowers sunglasses* Crash, thud, thud, "watch out, asshole!," Ouch, oof, tinkle, moan, gasp. wear your sunglasses at night.
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Comments (172)
DHoffmann 9
Be yourself. You don't have to look like a damn rainbow to be seducive man.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Hmm, sounds like you were reading "How to be a douche-bag" not "Seduction Techniques". Sorry for the mix up OP, both books were for the same audience.
perdix 31
Which is why you don't. . . *lowers sunglasses* Crash, thud, thud, "watch out, asshole!," Ouch, oof, tinkle, moan, gasp. wear your sunglasses at night.
DHoffmann 9
I love your comments.
ShyAnn29 15
LOL!! that's funny!!
perdix 31
Thanks, ShyAnn, I looked at your picture again and realized now that she's face-to-face with the guy. When I first saw it, I thought she was blowing the guy. Is that one of those optical illusions that can be seen in either of two ways as a kind of Rorschach test to decide whether you have a dirty mind? If so, I pass or fail depending on your perspective.
FrostHeart 36
Umm.. No. Kinda clear that she is face to face. Watch this get buried :p
pondermuse 5
Go back to chapter one, and start again.
alexchiltonLC 7
Take your sunglasses off...
LilChappy 0
Nice info on profile I like all those things too lol hit the email up
MagicallyFat 12
^ It's funny cause he's wearing sunglasses indoors Ohhh lawl
LilChappy 0
I will
steelrain0811 0
The Art of Seduction never said it salvaged you from ignorant choices
Enslaved 38
I think guys wearing sunglasses at night clubs look silly but they always seem to be surrounded by cute girls. Personally, I don't understand it.
jgduplante 9
Kinda like what you look like with all that makeup on..
ScarletBloom 14
Pitbull does.
th4m4ster 6
agreed, what's the point of wearing sunglasses inside .. the sun ain't here
False_Stupidity 42
Wear them where the sun don't shine :)
SoSickWithIt 14
63 - You're a twat. U mad bro she'd be more attractive than you without her wearing any makeup, and you dressing your Sunday best?
punkin_26 16
BURN! #63 good job.
punkin_26 16
112 is a sad example of the illiteracy that plagues our youth, then carries over into adulthood yo yo dawg, Fo Shizzle.....Oh I give up
tweetbaby14 18
112, commenting with the hopes of receiving nude pictures from the person you e-saved never works out well. Just letting you know.
mistersheezy 7
Sounds like a learning experience.
misssoccer 0
Getting seduction tips from reality tv stars who just party it up all the time may not be the best idea
Carina23 5
Way to go!