Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of 6 years and fiancé has been secretly dating and hooking up with my step-sister behind my back. Now she's pregnant. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
DNA test, and dump her.
RebeccaRFT 18
Dump her. And don't help with the baby. She cannot make you stay and take care of it.
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Comments (122)
mmazzaa 16
Was her name Mary ?
AkashaSC2 11
You know a crazy girl like OP's futur ex ?
swanheart 35
I think it was a reference to Jesus and his mothers famed virgin pregnancy. Basically, she was asking if Jesus was going to come again in 7-8months time.
mmazzaa 16
Yea she's my neighbor
jsrf 8
On the bright side your not alone
QXR2 14
Get out while you can.
valalvax 13
The only thing about DNA tests is you test the baby and father (or mother if it's a case like a lost child) or grandparents in my sisters case (dead bf) But in any case you need the kid
murph_fml 21
Not true. Amniotic test.
tehdarkness 21
Just be glad you're not the father and can actually be certain in this case!
henrylikestreats 22
Hopefully you are in shape... Time to run. Run far, far away.
gearhead369 20
What a cheating sob. Sorry OP
jessonice88 14
What if she isn't even pregnant?! There's a whole other set of issues to deal with....
Nejg1988 3
I was just thinking that. What if she is just saying she is pregnant, so her dad scares him into breaking up with her.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Pull him to the side and tell him just that. Keep a gun handy tho
xluciferx666 21
That's what paternity tests are for but good luck avoiding her dad