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FMyLife
that guy This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Atascadero, United States

Paternity test

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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DNA test, and dump her.

Dump her. And don't help with the baby. She cannot make you stay and take care of it.

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Comments (122)

Tell her parents (by phone or text) that you haven't had sex with her and she's lying about the father. Don't worry, if you haven't done it with her, then the proof will arrive in 7-8 months and you'll be off the hook.

She sounds horrible.