Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
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Top comments
thegr8dane 0
listerine is just more alcohol going inside of you anyway. way to go, champ.
Stumblebum30 5
Maybe time for AA?
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Comments (105)
ndiesal 0
LOL, YDDI... if downing something like a shot of alcohol is instictive, you might be an alcoholic.
thinmint 0
dumb
Marcheline_Chase 0
YDI dumbass. Go to AA.
ferdte 0
Been there..!!
meranda_03 0
wow. you need serious help FUCKTARD.
CraziOne 0
I have to say ydi just for they staying the night at a strangers house. And just like everyone else is saying, if you are using listerine and thinking of the night before you shoot it, you need AA. Like yesterday.
ferdte 0
miss read it lol.. I puked from the smell if listerine after a night of drinking I didn't take it as a shot!! lol
Slimma 20
you had a long night of drinking... therefore it's your fault whatever happens. YDI
dvd175 5
Hey, if u swallow Listerine there might be some serious problems, but since you puked it up right after, there were no consequences. If you didnt puke, tehn you would have to call poison control, and etc.
taytay09 0
way to go smart one. YDI.