Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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Top comments
Akitakat 31
It's ok. I'm sure they all thought you were a hoot!
RichardPencil 32
Who thought that was a wise idea for a date? Who? Who? Who?
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Comments (30)
lucasjames22 8
wow. another person who pees their pants. really?