Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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Top comments
Akitakat 31
It's ok. I'm sure they all thought you were a hoot!
RichardPencil 32
Who thought that was a wise idea for a date? Who? Who? Who?
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Comments (30)
Achicken123 22
Did you piss your date off?
Akitakat 31
It's ok. I'm sure they all thought you were a hoot!
RichardPencil 32
Who thought that was a wise idea for a date? Who? Who? Who?
maritime1992 5
literally this FML could have ended after the first period.
samwilliams800 28
Some of us actually like owls.
Cali 57
Owls are rad. There are dozens of us. Dozens!
caggybandicoot 34
And your comment could have never existed but hey, free speech.
LennyComa 39
How did you not know that you would scared of owls? I mean fair enough it's not common but I think if you are so scared you pissed yourself I imagine you'd get the chills just seeing a picture of the bird. Still FYL
jttorkildson 21
I had a childhood fear of heffalumps that I completely forgot about until the Heffalump movie was on ABC Family one day and I totally freaked out.
seasonedtoast 19
I didn't realise I was terrified of butterflies until I went to a Butterfly House and they started flying at me. I'm sure everyone is vaguely terrified of someone breaking into your house, but until you you experience it first hand you don't appreciate the real fear of the situation.
cootiequeen4444 11
A fear of owls seems so random... the fact you didn't see a panic attack coming now makes me paranoid I'll freak the **** out seeing some random animal I have never seen in person before.. I would just think like the last commenter and figure if the image of it didn't bother me then I'd be A-OK. Which is what I presume OP assumed without even really considering anything else. I can't even imagine the embarrassment either. Life ****** you hard, OP. Totally giving locations to my future first dates an actual thought process now instead of an "eh, whatever, as long as we actually hear ourselves talk".
xxdreamloverxx 14
Awww, sorry about that, phobias are no joke.
602offroad 12
Hopefully they didn't think your behavior was to owltragous. Better luck next time op.
cheshireau 26
Why didn't you say something when you arrived or even when you saw the owls? You put yourself through such a traumatic experience just for a stupid date. It doesn't seem logical to me.
caggybandicoot 34
This probably happened the minute they stepped through the door - or they tried to carry on as best as they could (brave to try and overcome it) and ultimately couldn't handle any more. Just my thoughts.
False_Stupidity 42
So, the first date was a hoot, maybe the second date will be to hooters?