Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Akitakat 31
It's ok. I'm sure they all thought you were a hoot!
RichardPencil 32
Who thought that was a wise idea for a date? Who? Who? Who?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (30)
TaoShaman 24
That sounds terrible. Hopefully your date understood. I love owls, but I can see why they would be terrifying. And it's not an animal people encounter all the time.
jcash52426 5
Everyone is afraid of something don't be ashamed. If your going to have a future with this girl then she will understand and let you set up the next date and start over.
Bearsmomma 30
My app is showing OP as a female
sweetpotato301 7
Is this in response to the comment above? If so, you know girls can date girls right?
Zillamamma 4
Tough break. Hope you get another date anyway.
skulleerozwell 3
Completely normal to not know about something like this. If you're not previously exposed to something like this, how would you know you are scared of it? I am scared of all birds, and it didn't really make sense to me until a bird that I thought couldn't fly flew towards me. I feel your pain OP..
LevelupKid 8
Yeah, I think you're not old enough for a date, if you still cry and piss yourself.
Ravenbird0072 11
Phobias sometimes come out of nowhere. When I was younger I had no problems getting shots or giving blood, it didn't bother me at all. Now, if anyone comes near me with a needle I will freak out and cry or throw up. So I definitely understand your pain and I'm sorry you experienced this.
mwdsonny 5
where in SC is an own sanctuary? I know where a reptile one is.
Jennifer Thomas 2
Hello I am Jennifer Thomas, I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Prophet Abulele the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Prophet Abulele about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for an interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the manager..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Prophet Abulele at the following email and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: [email protected] and get your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL IS: [email protected]
Raveen 26
OWL SANCTUARIES ARE A THING? OH MY GOD I NEED TO GO! *Furiously googles*
melons 44
I know a cracking owl sanctuary.